The country is so huge that we don’t always understand it. And you know what doesn’t help? There are people who are attracted to the places where bad things have happened. You see charred black bodies hanging from trees, and white folks picnicking under them. I’m getting covered in ash. That’s how bad it is.
I thought about what happiness a vending machine gives us. The dark of night made it difficult. And then I was like, wait, what am I doing? There were bullets passing through windows, bullets passing through walls. The result was hypnotic. I wanted to go totally nuts, shout “Fuck yeah!”
A lot of folks out here are running from something. Only children are left to attend to the dying animal. Is it becoming a grass armchair? A black wall? A crying mirror? Does it portage like French trappers on the Red Cedar? We live in an age where we just don’t know.
You never find a place that is total silence. There’s always something happening, always temptations, all the variations of green. You feel your brain is wider than the sky. There’s a feeling of water, somehow, abandoned and never-ending. You think, “I’m going to drown,” “I’m going to die,” “I’m going to lose everything.” Then suddenly the building is just dancing in the air. To go in there – wow.
HOWIE GOOD is the author of The Loser’s Guide to Street Fighting, winner of the 2017 Lorien Prize for Poetry and forthcoming from Thoughtcrime Press.